I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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