I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
