We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
