dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
