Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
