I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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