"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so explain again why im purple
no
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
