She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
