What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Only a mothe r could love this liver
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
