I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
