I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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