I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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