I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
