so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
