everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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