I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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