Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I party with great urgency now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
