No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
