I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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