Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
