their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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