I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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