Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
