I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Randomize
