We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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