when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
