No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
