U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize