I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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