As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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