So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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