i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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