Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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