Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize