You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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