$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
