Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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