I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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