I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
