Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
