rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
only if we run a train.
done.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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