And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
