First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
