he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
