I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
