do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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