we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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