U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
false alarm, still single
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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