How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Floor bacon is actually really good
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
