This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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