Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
