planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
