I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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