I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
