Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize