Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
