hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
