yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
