I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
