fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
