he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize