im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
