It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
